2 posts tagged “family”

As 2007 ended I looked back and tried to remember what was good about it.  There was only really one thing that stood out as good, the rest was just kind of meh.  It seems like a lot went unfinished.  I have a pile high of unread books, unfinished projects, unrealized gallery show ideas that are probably in limbo because they were uninspired, that book proposal I keep redoing.  I stayed depressed for several days and realized that was no way to start a new year.  I need to have a plan.

First things first, finish what I started unless it's just not feasible, and let it go - move on!

Next, get inspired.  Virginia Woolf was right, you need a room of your own and money to be a writer/photographer/artist/creative.  I certainly don't have a room or the money to get one.  Travel has always been my "room" and since we've been conserving for the house renovation, I haven't been traveling as much as I used to.  This year I'm going to get the hell out of Jackson as often as I can, even if it's just a day trip to Nashville.

Finally, worry about myself instead of worrying about everybody else.  The most depressing  and frustrating thing for me this past year has been living with three teenagers and a passive husband.  One minute teenagers can be accomplished and happy and make me feel everything is going to turn out okay.  The next minute they dissolve into an alien goo bent on destroying everything around them because they can't find their favorite pair of jeans.  Yesterday a woman at church, who was my daughter's sponsor for confirmation, asked me how she was doing.  I said, "Well, she's 14. She'll survive. They always seem to."  The woman who is a great-grandmother said, "Sure she'll survive, but the question is, will you?"  At that moment, I wasn't so sure I would.  I resolve in this new year (even though I don't believe in resolutions, but I'm desperate) to feed my soul and strengthen myself.  I can't help others if I'm too weak to help myself.

I've finally recovered from the holiday trip to the families.  The in-laws were typically sullen and there was uncharacteristic overindulgence of alcohol at my mother's.

What I love about this time of year is, it's my busy season.  Work is very steady and this year I'm able to pace it better so I can balance my workload with my family obligations.  A big thing that's helping is not doing any pro-bono work.  That doesn't seem like it's in the spirit of the holidays, but in my experience, no good deed goes unpunished.  Some organizations methods are so toxic, they kill whatever spirit I have left and I have no energy for celebrating anything.

I'm looking forward to a month of working with some of my best clients; where there is mutual respect and appreciation for a job well done.